1. Externalities
If Z is negatively affected by anything X and Y do, then X & Y's activity must be stopped. All positive externalities of X & Y's are ignored.
Example: X gives a plastic bag to Y. Z is subsequently harmed by devastating global warming. X is punished.
Exception: If the planner approves of an activity that has negative externalities, then Z is called a “NIMBY” and is ridiculed away.
Example: X wants the government to place a homeless shelter in Z's neighborhood. Z complains about externalities. X then calls Z a “racist” in a NY Times op-ed, and Z's tax return is audited.
2. Public Goods
Genuine public goods are goods that are underproduced because free riding reduces the incentives to produce said goods. But in the planner's world, public goods are things that the planner simply wants but aren't produced because no one thinks they're worth the price.
Example: Stadiums boost civic pride and “jump start” economies, but who wants high ticket prices? Solution: No one will notice if their taxes pay for it.
Other things are called public goods simply because planners like to control them on behalf of the “public”.
Example: Who knows what harm parents might do if they were responsible for their childrens' education?
Solution: Prohibit private transactions in education unless they are so heavily regulated that they might as well be government run. Compel public education. It is therefore by definition a public good and “society” will benefit.
Example: Transit and highways benefit the public; they wouldn't exist without tax subsidies. We would, under those circumstances, all stay home and starve or whatnot.
Exception: For some reason, we all benefit by other people eating, and this is not considered a public good. Yet.
3. Induced Demand
This is the notion that demand is created by supply. The implication, if demand is a function of supply, is that the “demand” line in "supply & demand" curves is redundant.
Example: The government adds a free highway lane, and traffic flows remains at failure levels. This was because the new lane induced travel demand.
Example: The government doubles its supply of free cheese, and still managed to give it all away. This was because doubling the supply of free cheese induced a doubling in demand.
4. Unaffordability
Unaffordability, you might think, refers to goods that are too costly to make to justify their price, so no one can “afford” to buy them. No. It instead refers to anything that is not cheaply available to everyone. Increasing supply is, for some reason, not an option, perhaps because it will just “induce demand” (see above).
Example: Housing in the most desirable areas is unaffordable. (That such housing is rarely vacant seems to not alter assessments of whether anyone can “afford” to live there.)
Solution: Prohibit market prices. Now it is affordable to anyone who wins a lottery or who is granted a political payback. Potential tenants can feel good knowing that housing is affordable for other people.
Example: Public schools are unaffordable.
Solution: Wait, this one is for real. Close them.
5. Sustainability
A sustainable system is one that can support itself without intervention. For example, if you use the profits from selling onions to grow a new crop of onions, then you have a sustainable system. Ha ha. Seriously, a sustainable system is one that dies without continuous tax infusions.
Example: “Green” streets are sustainable because they need lots of expensive landscaping maintenance.
Example: Transit is sustainable because it could not operate for ten minutes without tax money.
6. Prices
We all know that “free” is the wrong price for highways and parking. (But it is exactly the right price for public schools.) How do planners know what the right price is for highways and parking? If it used in conjunction with phrases like “congestion” and “dynamic”, then it is certainly the right price. How about the correct transit price? Simple: It needs to be “fair”, “affordable”, and “sustainable”.
7. Monopoly
There are very strict criteria for being a monopoly:
- The business must be big
- The business must not be unionized
Example: Walmart is a monopoly
Uninformed people might think that to be a monopoly, there must be exclusive control of an industry with enforced barriers to competition. If that were true, then public schools would be a monopoly. But they aren't, so those people are just plain mean.
8. Indifference Curves
An indifference curve is "a graph showing different bundles of goods between which a consumer is indifferent. That is, at each point on the curve, the consumer has no preference for one bundle over another."
This is nothing but a cruel joke being played on the poor, who are far too stupid and irresponsible to make their preference decisions. Planners can address this. Instead of letting poor families decide what to do with a government subsidy, planners can spend it for them.
Example: A poor family might need a subsidy for a car to get to a suburban job. The planner, however, can correct this by diverting the subsidy to affordable housing in a gentrified area in the middle of the city. The planner knows that cars are not "green", and besides, the poor person would just drive to the casino anyway.
9. The rich can pay for everything
If you are rich and your commerce is taxed, then it is axiomatic that the burden will fall on you, and not, say, the people you hire on the loading dock. So, the taxes that you write a check for, which will support, say, NPR, is something that the dock workers (or at least those who still have their jobs) will appreciate.
10. Defining “success”
Definition 1: A successful program is one that is complied with. So if all restaurants post calorie counts, then the calorie-count program is a success.
Definition 2: A program that meets a “goal”. Example: A new light rail line is expected to cover 10% of its costs, but actually covers 11%. This is a success, if not beyond.
Definition 3: A program that is used by others. "All the food stamps were used" – or at least sold on the black market. So food stamps are wildly successful.
If Z is negatively affected by anything X and Y do, then X & Y's activity must be stopped. All positive externalities of X & Y's are ignored.
Example: X gives a plastic bag to Y. Z is subsequently harmed by devastating global warming. X is punished.
Exception: If the planner approves of an activity that has negative externalities, then Z is called a “NIMBY” and is ridiculed away.
Example: X wants the government to place a homeless shelter in Z's neighborhood. Z complains about externalities. X then calls Z a “racist” in a NY Times op-ed, and Z's tax return is audited.
2. Public Goods
Genuine public goods are goods that are underproduced because free riding reduces the incentives to produce said goods. But in the planner's world, public goods are things that the planner simply wants but aren't produced because no one thinks they're worth the price.
Example: Stadiums boost civic pride and “jump start” economies, but who wants high ticket prices? Solution: No one will notice if their taxes pay for it.
Other things are called public goods simply because planners like to control them on behalf of the “public”.
Example: Who knows what harm parents might do if they were responsible for their childrens' education?
Solution: Prohibit private transactions in education unless they are so heavily regulated that they might as well be government run. Compel public education. It is therefore by definition a public good and “society” will benefit.
Example: Transit and highways benefit the public; they wouldn't exist without tax subsidies. We would, under those circumstances, all stay home and starve or whatnot.
Exception: For some reason, we all benefit by other people eating, and this is not considered a public good. Yet.
3. Induced Demand
This is the notion that demand is created by supply. The implication, if demand is a function of supply, is that the “demand” line in "supply & demand" curves is redundant.
Example: The government adds a free highway lane, and traffic flows remains at failure levels. This was because the new lane induced travel demand.
Example: The government doubles its supply of free cheese, and still managed to give it all away. This was because doubling the supply of free cheese induced a doubling in demand.
4. Unaffordability
Unaffordability, you might think, refers to goods that are too costly to make to justify their price, so no one can “afford” to buy them. No. It instead refers to anything that is not cheaply available to everyone. Increasing supply is, for some reason, not an option, perhaps because it will just “induce demand” (see above).
Example: Housing in the most desirable areas is unaffordable. (That such housing is rarely vacant seems to not alter assessments of whether anyone can “afford” to live there.)
Solution: Prohibit market prices. Now it is affordable to anyone who wins a lottery or who is granted a political payback. Potential tenants can feel good knowing that housing is affordable for other people.
Example: Public schools are unaffordable.
Solution: Wait, this one is for real. Close them.
5. Sustainability
A sustainable system is one that can support itself without intervention. For example, if you use the profits from selling onions to grow a new crop of onions, then you have a sustainable system. Ha ha. Seriously, a sustainable system is one that dies without continuous tax infusions.
Example: “Green” streets are sustainable because they need lots of expensive landscaping maintenance.
Example: Transit is sustainable because it could not operate for ten minutes without tax money.
6. Prices
We all know that “free” is the wrong price for highways and parking. (But it is exactly the right price for public schools.) How do planners know what the right price is for highways and parking? If it used in conjunction with phrases like “congestion” and “dynamic”, then it is certainly the right price. How about the correct transit price? Simple: It needs to be “fair”, “affordable”, and “sustainable”.
7. Monopoly
There are very strict criteria for being a monopoly:
- The business must be big
- The business must not be unionized
Example: Walmart is a monopoly
Uninformed people might think that to be a monopoly, there must be exclusive control of an industry with enforced barriers to competition. If that were true, then public schools would be a monopoly. But they aren't, so those people are just plain mean.
8. Indifference Curves
An indifference curve is "a graph showing different bundles of goods between which a consumer is indifferent. That is, at each point on the curve, the consumer has no preference for one bundle over another."
This is nothing but a cruel joke being played on the poor, who are far too stupid and irresponsible to make their preference decisions. Planners can address this. Instead of letting poor families decide what to do with a government subsidy, planners can spend it for them.
Example: A poor family might need a subsidy for a car to get to a suburban job. The planner, however, can correct this by diverting the subsidy to affordable housing in a gentrified area in the middle of the city. The planner knows that cars are not "green", and besides, the poor person would just drive to the casino anyway.
9. The rich can pay for everything
If you are rich and your commerce is taxed, then it is axiomatic that the burden will fall on you, and not, say, the people you hire on the loading dock. So, the taxes that you write a check for, which will support, say, NPR, is something that the dock workers (or at least those who still have their jobs) will appreciate.
10. Defining “success”
Definition 1: A successful program is one that is complied with. So if all restaurants post calorie counts, then the calorie-count program is a success.
Definition 2: A program that meets a “goal”. Example: A new light rail line is expected to cover 10% of its costs, but actually covers 11%. This is a success, if not beyond.
Definition 3: A program that is used by others. "All the food stamps were used" – or at least sold on the black market. So food stamps are wildly successful.
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